Sometimes I feel confused, feel like what to do next or finding my path all blank. I want help and suggestion, need advice from Experience persons, and want to gain knowledge from who faced this situation before.
This generally happens to me that, whenever I ask for some suggestions people started giving their decision on my situation. And silently in my mind, I say, ” Please only give your suggestion, not your decision”.
There is a Popular quote in Hindi, “Suno Sabki, Kro man ki (Listen to all, Act to Heart). This simply hints towards giving only suggestions. If you force anyone or tend to force (even unknowingly) to influence individual’s decision, Please change your habbit.
Whenever you are giving suggestions and started to act like giving decisions, that conversation like to happen boring and I feel like to quit as soon as possible. It is everyone’s right to make a decision on their own. So forcing or trying to influence that decision is nothing less than a crime.
Always Give your Suggestion only
Above mentioned situation seems to happen with everyone. It is not in our minds to influence anyone with our word. But in the flow of conversation and aggression towards giving suggestions is the reason for all disadvantages of this process.
Whenever someone asks you about anything or seek your suggestion to make a decision for their own. You should follow these steps before putting any of your words:
- Listen carefully, what that person really want to know from you.
- Analyze the condition and depth of the suggestion he/she asking for.
- Ask for any clarification if you missed absorbing any point.
- Softly give your suggestion.
- Ask, what he/she understood from your words.
During any confusion or making some decisions which can affect your life, you always look for a person who can understand you and give you some perfect suggestions which can help you to take a good decision.
Everyone attempts to ask for some suggestions from their friends, family, or colleagues. One thing we should keep in mind, When someone asking for your suggestion, they just want to know the different perspectives and views.
Asked opinions from you, are just to recheck the situation if that individual is correct while making a decision based on their thought process. Your suggestion will help them to recognise different paths of actions and their results which will assist to make a choice for a good decision.
Our attempts towards giving suggestions must be only after fully understanding the situation of that individual. We have to give put our point of view or our perspective. And pros and cons too after giving your suggestions in addition.
Giving your points much more strongly and saying like, “take my suggestion and you will certainly find a good result for sure”, doesn’t help the thought process of the seeker, and his decision-making capacity will be affected.
For making a positive change in someone’s life and giving a chance for self-improvement, you must place your words only like a suggestion only. It will help the seeker to improve himself for making a choice and taking a good decision.
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Give Your Suggestion to make a choice
Often giving suggestions are considered as another way of saying, “Do it my way”. This is because of the tendency and culture which has been developed with the human race. When someone asks for any suggestion from us to make a choice and didn’t follow the same way we gave, We find ourselves hurt.
We should always keep in mind that if someone asking for some suggestions then it doesn’t mean he doesn’t know anything about that. He knows all but just for a recheck and to improve his choice for making a good decision, he wants to ensure all perspectives.
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Everyone has a different set of problems with different conditions, situations, and unique solutions. When someone asks you to give any suggestion for probably a similar set of situations, which may work or may not.
Working on your suggestion completely depends on the variables of the problem for which you are going to give your suggestion. So, if you really wanna help someone, After listening and understanding to the problem just follow these simple steps:
- Explain your similar condition.
- Gave some background of situations or conditions of your problem.
- Explain how you deal with that, what step you have taken to solve.
- Give your suggestion based on your experiences
- Ask him what he understands, for any clarification.
Give Your Suggestion to take a Good Decision
We all have faced a situation where we need to provide our views and suggestions on some particular topic. We want to help others. We tell them to do the ways for their ease and resolution of problems. But this feels sometimes annoying to others.
Giving suggestions to make a choice and to make a decision really helps if you give your suggestion only after careful listening to all the situations. Careful listening can really resolve more than 50% of your confusion and ease your life.
Helping someone is a great thing. your approach for help should be in a way that person in front of you won’t think that you are forcing to accept your suggestion. To improve your method of giving suggestions to take a good decision. You can follow these three tips:
Give honest to Goodness Suggestions:
The intent of giving some suggestion is to offer your perspective and approach to resolve some particular issue. If it doesn’t suit or makes the individual comfortable. Leave it, after all, it is just a suggestion.
If your suggestion doesn’t take up immediately as the best solution, that is okay. Just make sure you have given this with all your honesty, and your intentions towards this is invitational not demanding. Just remember you are giving your input just to make a decision
2. Offer in Your Most Polite way
sentences like “What I would do….”, “What we have done….”, “What worked for me….” are feels like egocentric, and the tone of conversation feels rude. If you use these sentences someone can develop a thought that if they won’t follow your suggestion, you will count it as an insult to you.
Instead of using those sentences, you should use, “A way to think about this could be….”, “Better to suggest…”, “Others have found that….”. The use of these during giving suggestions on only gives comfort to that individual but also gives freedom of thinking on your suggestion.
3. Ask if any of your suggestion fits on their situation
After giving a suggestion, just do one thing always. Ask that individual, “does any of these make any sense in your given situation?” or “Any of these thoughts can relate to your need“.
By asking this you will get clarification if that individual got your point in the correct direction or not. If not, then can repeat your word to make him understand for taking a good decision.
Asking clarification works in both ways. this doesn’t only help to clarify your point but also help that individual to understand your perspective clearly and to make a good decision.
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Be the Reason for Solving a Problem
Whenever some individual comes to us, we want to be a problem solver and make things better for that individual as soon as we can and obviously in the most effective way. This thinking sometimes creates a situation in which that individual feels uncomfortable.
For eg. If someone comes to you for gaining your view on something but you started to telling all that background story of your feeling than this situation is very uncomfortable as he was there only to your views in one sentence.
When you are giving your suggestions, you need to remember that acting more possessive to give your suggestion can make an individual feel like forcing your suggestions on him. By doing so, We are not giving the other person enough credit to sort out things in their own way.
While giving Suggestions this is a must to keep the other person-in-charge of their action. So that he can think freely and make a choice to make a good decision. “If you really want to support someone, it might be better not to help him, and let him grow for developing his thoughts and actions”.