We have a peculiar habit to compare and complain with others and finding a chance to Let down. We look at other people who perceive us to be different (or, perhaps the same as us?) and knock them down as much hard as we can. Unfortunately, none of us are exception and we all are suffering from this disease.
It is a deeply-buried instinct of human nature that makes them fight for their ego, attitude, self-respect to social connections, and respect (survival of the fittest), Or are we all just nasty by nature?
One thing I know for sure. None of the comments are true, and none of the comments are productive. We are wasting our valuable energy bringing each other down when instead, we should be propping each other up. And another truth that I absolutely believe is we all have the same goal — to get a peaceful life and raise our children as best we can with the circumstances we have without comparing ourselves with anyone else.
Why do we compare and complain with others?
Our most important things in life happen inside our minds, not in this physical world. From thinking and comparing to complaining about anything. This all burns inside us and we find very little reflection in our physical life.
Just Tell me, Whenever you meet somebody haven’t you created some assumption about his behavior, like or dislike and compare all that with yours. But have you ever express those thoughts to him completely. Well… I don’t think so..!!
The big question here is, ” How people really behave? ”
Are they got something to think about you internally that makes them unsatisfied or they compare and compete with you everywhere?
When we compare and complain with others, this allows them to drive our behavior. This type of behavior of comparing generally between you and any other person you know. Sometimes it is just simple as genetics like wishing to be taller, fairer, and having a muscular body. But more often comparison extends its limits to examining the capabilities of someone else, his earnings, lifestyle, friend circles, and social status.
In the desire to look and be the best of all others we start to compare ourselves and complain if we are incapable of achieving something we wished for. Maybe someone is good at writing and someone in singing. You can be anything but you can’t be everything.
What is the root cause to compare and complain with others?
When we compare ourselves with others often we compare with their best features and wish to be capable in that. It can be even as small as a right-handed person who wants to write with the left hand. Not only do we want to be better against them but we want to prove that to them.
comparing and complaining with others comes from the root of the desire to show ourselves best among all. This nature of comparing blended in our behavior because of our dissatisfaction and thirst for getting more fame.
While comparing we always complain by saying God has not given enough and what we want. And ask, Why me?
We usually forget the thing that everybody can’t be everything. We get birth and brought up in very different conditions with a much diversified mental approach towards anything. We learn and used to be affected by different people with different mindsets, habits, and knowledge.
To compare and complain is a recipe for unhappiness and dissatisfaction which get developed to be the best in the world. And believe me, there is a possibility of only one person can be the best. It’s not like you are unhappy and unsatisfied who compare and complain with others, but the other persons are as well.
“Comparison is a thief of joy”- Theodore Roosevelt
Comparing ourselves with others allows someone else to drive our nature, behavior, and performance. You can control and live only one life and it is yours. But when we constantly compare and complain with others, we waste our precious energy on other people’s lives instead of our own.
comparison oftentimes results in bitterness. Bitterness towards others and towards ourselves too. The tendency to compare ourselves with others is just another human emotion. And it’s obvious none of us is the exception to this. But because of this emotion, we lose the joy, peace, and comfort moments of our life.
This habit to compare and complain with others has diversified shortcomings that can create destruction in our life.
1. Comparison is always unfair
Typically this is our nature to compare our not so good skill with others.
Isn’t this unfair?
Not everyone is perfect in everything but we presume someone to be perfect and wish to be like them. If you really want to compare and develop yourself then do this for things you are good at. This can open new ways to improve yourself and master something specific.
2. Comparison can’t be measured
Can you compare Mangoes with Apples?
No, you can’t because of both having different tastes. So, if you are trying to compare your not so good skill with some skilled person than it is the biggest mistake of your life.
no one can measure someone’s activeness, skillset, or knowledge. Yes, it is possible that you are not as good at something as your friend is but I am damn sure you are good at something your friends have not any clue.
So, stop measure your knowledge and don’t compare yourself with others. Only a fool can believe that everything can be counted.
3. Comparison divest us from Joy
I am sure you have felt this when you compared yourself with some other people. Doing comparison can’t give you the pleasure of mind. But I am sure it can take all your happiness.
When you Compare and complain with others, this gives you only unsatisfaction. This doesn’t add any value, meaning, or fulfillment to your life. Remarkably, it is better to stop comparing yourself with others for your own sake.
4. Comparison can take your precious time
We don’t have infinite time to spend our life healthy and young. we all got 86,400 seconds each day. Now you have to choose whether you want your time to spend on comparing yourself to get disappointed or you want to nurture yourself with what you already.
The decision is yours…!!
But I want you to think and stop comparing yourself with others.
5. There is No end of comparison
If you have a habit to compare yourself?
Just tell me one thing… Have ever thought there is ” N ” nos. of possibility through which you can compare yourself. And do you think you can accomplish that all?
Well, I don’t think everyone can be everything but I am sure you have something because of that you have some people who love you a lot. Even this habit to compare and complain with others can never be ended after success. You will get a lot after you finish at something.
But when you stop comparing yourself and start doing and nurturing yourself with what you already have can really help you to grow well in life with peace of mind and happiness in life.
How do you stop yourself to compare and complain with others?
“Personality begins where comparison leaves off. Be unique. Be memorable. Be confident, Be proud” –Shannon L. Alder
It is must to stop comparing yourself for your own goodness. We know it all already that comparison can make harm to us. From Facebook like count to Per month income we all compare ourselves. We can compare ourselves in many broad ways and it is not limited to any certain numbers. So, it is right for you to compare yourself with someone every time.
Doing a comparison is often a fast track way to fall into a pool of disappointment and sorrow. Doing a comparison is a very quick recipe to cook misery for your life. This makes you focus on what you don’t like for yourself and for your life.
When you make the decision to look upon yourself, you can focus on a new path for yourself through which the real meaning of life can be achieved. At least, For a few weeks just consider yourself as a house with binders, don’t look too much on the sides, just focus on your path and on you.
I am sure you will find yourself improved if you do this without any hesitation and target to improve yourself without compare and complain with others. I am here explaining to you the 10 most simple ways, that will help you to stop comparing yourself with others :
1. Focus on your own work
when you focus on other people’s work, we lose sight of our own improvement and also we lose time that can we invest to improve ourselves. We can’t have a beautiful garden by looking only at neighbors garden. We have to work on our’s for a greener and better one.
2. Accept where and what you are
You can’t change something you are not aware of. so, instead of combating with your situation just accept your present and improve yourself for a better future.
3. Accept your past but Learn from it.
You know it very well that you can’t change your past. So, why you are wasting your precious time to think about it. Yes, it is quite possible that your life can be messy and bumpy. And the canvas of your past is tainted with fear, anxiety, frustration, and mistakes. Get the help of all those things to use as a catalyst for creating and shaping your future in a better, wiser, and happier way.
4. Do a social detoxification
We always have some people in our life who always compare and complain with others. You need to find people like this who always trying to compare you with someone else. These people can make you uncomfortable unsatisfied. Remove these type of people out of your life for your better growth.
5. Plan and wait for a Good time
If you are not happy today it doesn’t mean, time will be the same for you. The best thing about time is, ” This always changes “. Nothing in this world is permanent. You have to just prepare yourself for a future where happiness is waiting for you. You don’t need to compare yourself with others as no one in this world always has a fortune.
6. Be grateful for what you have now
Someone said right, “Be thankful for what you have instead of fighting for what you don’t“. And it is amazingly true if you focus on getting what you don’t have instead of improving what you already have then all of your assets will vanish and nothing will be left for you at last.
Whenever you find yourself comparing with others just remind the good things retained inside you and for what you are proud and grateful. So, it is better to focus on what you don’t have to stop comparing yourself with anyone else.
7. Turn comparison into Inspiration
We have a peculiar habit of getting inspired by someone’s success and don’t try to look for those thousands of hours of hard work done that become the reason for success. Just don’t compare yourself with someone success get inspired by those hardworking hours that leads to this success only then you will be able to feel a self-defining satisfaction.
8. Compete less, Consider More
It is quite possible that you have to face competition in your life. But life, not the name of always running and to live in some kind of hurry. You can’t always compare and compete with someone you have to consider that we all thrown on this planet to help each other to make everyone happy with what they don’t have. As sooner we stop to compete with ourselves we will achieve the triumph of life.
9. Improve your own success
Instead of compare and complain with others, It will be a far better choice to look into yourself and what out what is good in you. When you find this and improve yourself, you will see there is no need to compare yourself with anyone as you are the master of something that no one has.
10. Compare Yourself with you
If you really want to compare yourself then it is better to compare yourself with you. It will inspire you to get something unachievable. It is your choice, either you want to compare and complain with others or you compare yourself with you to improve your life quality.
Stories to Read More: 03 Stories which relates our thinking Process.
How to focus on Yourself and Be your own person?
To be happy you need to be your own person. But what exactly means here to be your own person and how can you measure yourself if you are the one. These are often coming to your mind if you practice more for not comparing yourself with others. There is certainly nothing to discover if you are your own person or not. However, I will direct you with some general questions that will help you to find yourself. You can consider these questions as a self-assessment inventory to find out yourself and stop comparing yourself with others.
1. How Much you depend on others and to What Extent?
Just think about yourself for a few minutes and ask yourself this question:
” Have I taken any decision in my Life under influence of someone else? ”
If your answer is “NO”, then you need to rethink yourself, Like what you really want? What do you feel about life? How you feel about persons you know? These questions will help you, even more, to find out if are your own person or not. It will help to focus on yourself for making your own identity.
You need to be independent, Independent from other’s influence and from other’s thoughts. You need to be aware of yourself. Only awareness can help you to live in balance. Stop comparing yourself with others and don’t take any decision to be a copycat. Here, From being independent I am not suggesting you to Isolate yourself from the outside world, society, culture, and some legal factors.
I want you to create a balance in your life by interdependence between you and others. I want you to have faith in others but with the care that you won’t get dependent on them. Just create a system where Give and take work good with a more efficient way of life.
2. Are You genuine with yourself?
Being true to yourself is the first step of not to compare and complain with others. When you stop comparing yourself with others you can find the real person hidden behind the stubbornness of your comparing nature. you need to just think that Are you doing justice to yourself by comparing yourself with some other person.
Well…!! I don’t think your answer will be as “YES”. because when you compare yourself and get impressed with other’s skills, nature or way to live life. When You try to copy all those, you stop to think of what you really have and for what your existence can be felt to the outside world. Do not yourself for others but improve yourself always.
3. Are you a person of your words and Principles?
This won’t matter how to live and what your skills are if you are not a person of your words and principles. If you are your own person you will be always responsible for your actions, words, and principles in any condition of life. I never mean that you have to fight every battle of yours till your last breath, there is always some time when you have to lay down your arms to save real you from this world. You need to live your life on your words with your principles. These 101 ways of living your life being real can help for your betterment.
4. Do you stick to your decisions?
Making a decision and holding it is an art that everybody can’t have. Even when you make some rational decision can’t guarantee that you will act on it. For sticking to your decision “firm-ness and self-control” is much required. Many times people decide to do things but later on, they never follow up with their plan and decision what they make. To compare yourself is one of the reasons for doubting which is leading to non-follow up those decisions. When you compare your decision with someone else you always tend to doubt yourself if you are doing something new.
I simply urge you to don’t stop and stick to your decision once it will give you more ways to learn. Remember all winners are one a loser, they all learn from their own mistakes. If they will think fo comparing their decision before taking them then this stage of success won’t have its place in there life.
5. Are you self-confident enough?
Weak willpower is the main reason behind low self-confidence. Being confident can be a means between self-deprivation and being wasted. Low self-confidence always forces you to compare yourself and you start to complain. You feel low always and your skills and intelligence deteriorate with time. A self-confident person unreservedly accepts himself and avoid to compare and complain with others.
So, if you are self-confident about yourself, you must be avoiding to prove (yourself and others) how bad you are or how amazing you are. You will make a realistic assessment of your capabilities and the merit of your actions. If you find yourself doing something wrong then you can push yourself to learn what you are missing and improve yourself. Self-confidence has a first stage of self-accepting, if you are not able to feel yourself and believe in yourself then you won’t be able to stand by your words and your principles of life.
6. Are you comfortable with trying new things?
When you find yourself a self-confident person. you will feel prepared for anything or everything that comes across the path of your life. Learning new things and gaining new knowledge always spice up your life. Doing some experiments in your living will make your life interesting and you will feel your life much more lived.