When People want to have some self-improvement advice, I usually respond by telling them One of the essential points that “YOU are the expert in your life” – so I rarely tell anyone what to do or give advice. What I do, however, is ask clarifying questions, listen, give feedback, brainstorm, and share resources for people to check out. I believe we all have our own inner guidance that will lead us on our unique path if we take the time to listen. Usually what people are looking for are self-improvement tips, self-motivation tips, or some other “quick-fix” self-improvement ideas to enhance their life or solve some problem. Life coaching helps people to explore alternatives to their problem-focused search for the “quick fix.”
Some of you may wonder, “Why don’t you give self-improvement advice?” Well, to me the process of listening and asking questions is far more powerful than any advice I could give. If I give someone self-improvement advice, I am telling them what I think they should do from my perspective. But I would rather encourage them to look inside themselves for their truth and wisdom. Many people like to believe that there must be some “life expert” who knows more than they do. I coach my clients from the underlying belief that we all have our answers within. We truly are the experts in our own lives. What if we all trusted ourselves more and listened to our own inner guidance on a daily basis?
Life Coaching vs. Giving Advice
One thing I also provide as a life coach is the holding of a powerful, co-creative space for my clients to hear their own voice – to tap into their own wisdom as they make their own decisions. When my wonderful clients create the time and space to explore what they want, they end up giving themselves all the self-improvement advice they ever needed. Each of us can do this for ourselves. You will feel more empowered as you begin to take more responsibility for your decisions. When you are constantly looking to others for advice, you will tend to make choices that may not feel true to your inner values. If the decision you make doesn’t turn out, you may end up feeling angry that you didn’t listen to yourself – piling up regrets.
It seems to me that giving self-improvement advice to others is a bit of a quick fix, a band-aid so to speak. My experience shows that band-aids don’t last long. Perhaps in the short term, it does provide an easier way out. And of course at times, especially when feeling overwhelmed, we all want someone to just tell us what to do. But in the long run, we will be doing ourselves a huge favor when we do our inner work first. When we take time to sit and listen to our guidance, and then follow it, we experience changes that last and a greater sense of satisfaction.
How would you like to feel better now – right now in your pursuit of happiness? It may be easier than you think. If you really look at why you are working towards whatever it is you want in your life (nice house, car, healthy relationships, vacations) often it boils down to the fact that you simply want to feel good. What if we were to stop waiting for all those things to come to fruition and start focusing on feeling better right now? Self-improvement doesn’t have to be a struggle! Do you know it’s possible to feel good before you get some of the things you want in life?
Below is a list of 14 tips to help you feel better now. But first – if you are really feeling horrible, take the time to express those feelings, otherwise, you may not even be interested in feeling good. Call someone who will listen to you or write down how you are feeling. There is a lot of power in getting out your negative feelings. It opens you up to create the space and desire for good feelings to come in and this increases your emotional health. When you are ready to feel better and increase your joy, read the simple, quick tips below, and do some of them right away!
14 Quick Tips to Feel Better
- Smile, yes just smile for a bit.
- Try to make someone else smile today.
- Take 1 minute to take 10 deep breaths – focus on bringing in more joy and renewed energy.
- Go outside for 5 minutes and sit in the sun (or watch the rain) and be in awe of nature.
- Call someone and tell them that you appreciate them.
- Call your parents if they are alive (or someone special) and thank them for giving you life, inspiration, or guidance.
- Go look at yourself in the mirror and smile.
- Take five minutes to write down some of the things you are thankful for.
- Write down at least 10 things you appreciate about yourself.
- Write down at least ten things you appreciate about your kids, partner, or friend.
- Spend a few minutes with your pet(s) or a friend’s pet.
- Plan for today and tomorrow – something you can look forward to!
- Write someone a letter or send a card to make their day – snail mail.
- Send someone a kind email or text message.
After you try a few of these, see which ones you resonate with the most. Remember, the good news is that you can feel better now by choosing to practice with just one small step at a time. You don’t have to move from depression and anxiety to ecstatic all at once in a giant leap. Choose one small thing to raise your energetic level – the feedback loop created from it will begin to grow like a snowball.
Let us know if you have other ideas to share that help you feel better now. We’d also love to hear about your AHA! moments of inspiration and self-realization that continue to lift your spirits. May you continue to say yes to your self-improvement adventure and enjoy your journey now!